Where have I been? Where am I going?

Oh my, looky there!

It's been a hellaciously long time since I've had a chance to update this blog!

I don't know how you all do it - you blog, tweet, Facebook, squidly, bla, bla, bla. Don't you ever take time out to goof off, do something stupid, get drunk, snuggle with somebody cute, take a bath?

Well, neither do I. That's why I find it so amazing that you all can spend so much more time with this kind of thing than I do.

Seriously (I actually do many stupid things), I really want to get back to work on this blog. All nine of my subscribers have been clamoring for more ("clamoring" may be too harsh a word. Maybe "have completely forgotten about the existence of this blog" would be more accurate).

I guess that an explanation is in order.

Being of a philosophical temperament I will present my explanation in the form of a syllogistic argument:

A. Given the existence of excrement,
and
B. Given the existence of ventilation devices,
and
C. Given a long enough time period
-------------------------------------------------------
It is inevitable that, sooner or later, the shit will hit the fan.

So the shit hit the fan... But things are better now. Once more I have used my powers to pull my buns out of the fire before they charred. Currently, there is less pulverized poop misting the atmosphere, and I can actually get back to the work I love - which I have missed terribly.

So here's a quick rundown of the bits I've currently got in process, and which I will be showing in the near future -



1. The door prize for the 2011 Midwest Witches' Ball.
This is a HUGE PARTY, and huge fun. As a sponsor, I get to donate a door prize. I really like doing this because it's a time for me to pull out all stops and do something really extraordinary, without worrying about making it affordable.

I'll have pictures up soon - this is the kind of stuff I would do all the time, if I only had some very wealthy customers... But as it is, somebody is going to be very, very happy...

Here's a teaser pic... more to follow...

To find out more about The 2011 Midwest Witches' Ball, follow this link: http://midwestwitchesball.com/
Look for my add on the sponsor's page!



2. A brass bra.

I've laughed about making one of these for a long time, and now I think it's finally time to produce one.

I've been filling my idle hours studying the anatomy and form of female breasts, my sketch book is full of boob sketches, and I think I understand them well enough now. I believe I can adequately and attractively encase them in a firm support of metal. I have some rough ideas sketched out, and, of course, my research continues, with the grateful assistance of my wife and some friendly friends.

I've also been studying up on leather work. I haven't done any of that in a long time, so I need to brush up on it in order to make all the associated straps and harnessing needed to support such a complicated bit of engineering.

My intention is to line it with rabbit fur in order to provide tickley comfort and reduce the famous "colder than.." factor.

Who says a witches' tit in a brass bra has to be cold, anyway?

Here's a sketch of the current design for one of the breastplates. The pattern will be pierced out to show the rabbit fur lining. The rabbit skin will be removable for those really naughty occasions when flesh is more fun...

I can't decide if I should cut a nipple hole in the center, or if I should mount a nice bullet cut garnet cabochon there so it will look nice under a sweater.


3. And, finally, my recycled animal parts projects.

This is kind of funny...

I was looking around  for some odd bits of bone, horn, and shell to make projects like this little bottle made out of a warthog tusk:

Or this little bottle made out of a piece of deer bone:

Or this wand made with a turkey leg (it features a concealed compartment in the other end):

So I found what I was looking for, but I also found that when I buy individual pieces (of bone or whatever), the price is much, much higher than it is if I buy a bunch of them at once.

And, to make a long story short, I figured that, as weird as some of this stuff is, if I can use it to make unique and interesting items, then so can others. Hence, the birth of a new business enterprise, http://www.magistercrow.etsy.com/ .

I now buy and sell peculiar items that are nearly impossible to find anywhere else.

While I'm wheeling and dealing I pick out the bits that I like best. I have quite an assortment of stuff which would like to be made into things both elegant and lovely... Not to say unique...

Starting at the top and traveling clockwise, you have a couple of ram's horns, some enormous steer horns, male springbok horns with a red fox skull sitting on top, sea urchin shells, water buffalo horns, a huge warthog tusk, a coyote skull, a pile of female springbok horns, a stack of toad skins, and, right in the center, a very nice warthog skull. All this will be going up for sale on my Magister Crow site in the beginning of November.